The Pakistani military, The Zardari led Peoples Party, the Pakistan Muslim League (Nawaz), Iftikhar Chaudhry, your neighbor, the obnoxious guy you saw peeing on a wall - they all seem to have something in common. They all unanimously agree that Mansoor Ijaz is someone who is a very important factor in Pakistani politics and has been so for months. Every Pakistani has at some point at time thought to him or herself, “Hmm… who is this Mansoor fellow and what do we know about him?” The rumors about him have been aplenty, ranging from accusations of him being a CIA/Mossad/RAW or even a (gasp!) ISI agent to being the savior of Pakistan by ridding us of the rule of the “evil Sindhis”. While most of these are not verifiable facts, there are some things we know about him and the situation his memo has created in Pakistan. Using what we know, let us now attempt to piece together the puzzles that are Memogate and Mansoor Ijaz.
List of things we seem to know about the situation:
Hussain Haqqani is probably the scapegoat for people like the president.
Mr. Ijaz claims he was entrusted to give the “Memogate” memo to the Americans.
Memogate says Pak military was considering a coup and that if the military comes to power, there will be a risk of the nuclear weapons that Pakistan possesses falling into the hands of extremists because the ISI funds them.
The military is offended at the allegations, which they claim are untrue and want the memo investigated.
The military leans on the courts to get involved and not only investigate the memo but also put pressure on the government to address the NRO. Seems the military is out for blood but does not want to risk an all out coup when it can control everyone from afar.
List of things we seem to know about the man:
Mr. Ejaz is rich and powerful.
Mr. Ejaz has connections with people like Mike Mullen (or at least that is what he claims).
The man is a major player in the international relations game.
He and Hussain Haqqani know each other.
Mr. Ijaz basks in attention and cannot seem to get enough of it.
He looks like a much lamer version of Lando Calrissian of Star Wars fame.
Lando Calrissian was the guy who initially betrayed Han Solo to Lord Vader. Lord Vader in turn let Jabba the Hutt have Han Solo as a decoration piece after freezing him in Carbonite and giving him to bounty hunters to take to Jabba. This made Lando feel guilty and decide to help the rebels with getting Han back. He was such a good trouper that he even stayed on in the long run to fight the evil Empire.
So, by this reasoning, we know that Ijaz will hurt Haqqani and then later on help save him and then go on to fight the system.
Or will he? Recent evidence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0QvR1eP2yg seems to suggest he could become spokesperson for the alluring Veena Malik instead. After all, now, we all know that he likes thongs.
